[OLUG] IF COMPUTER OPERATING SYSTEMS RAN AIRLINES

[John Kennedy]

IF COMPUTER OPERATING SYSTEMS RAN AIRLINES

UNIX Airways
Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come
to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the
plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what
kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they
jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground
again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on ...

Mac Airlines
All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket
agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask
questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that
you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything
will be done for you without your ever having to know, so
just shut up..

Windows Air
The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards,
easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off.
After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with
no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT
Air Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger
planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a
40-mile radius when it explodes.

Linux Air
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to
start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket
counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a
small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you
can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you
board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench
and a copy of the seat installation manual - HOWTO.html.
Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable,
the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single
problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell
customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but
all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"

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