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The short answer on ext3 defragging is that it's not going to happen.  It's
been such a non-concern for the most part, that no tools exist to do it.  I
find this decision rather lacking for the exact reason why you're asking -
if the user feels better by doing it... and it's non detrimental to the FS,
let him!  Which undoubtedly has management types of the opinion that ext3 is
therefor lacking a critical ability/tool.  Note that reiserfs also lacks a
defragmenter (at least reiser3 does, dunno about 4 or newer).

I believe ext4 is supposed to have some kind of defragmenting tool provided
with it.  I'm not entirely sure why...

-Will